


Two of a Kind

by Sicily



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Kidnapping, Attempted Seduction not from Bucky, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Pre-Civil War (Marvel), Reader-Insert, more plot than smut, reader with powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-12 18:04:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7116859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sicily/pseuds/Sicily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He finds you alone and broken. He takes you on, thinking he's helping you, but in the end, you may be the one helping him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You woke up breathing your used, hazy air, hands and feet restrained by some means, not able to see a thing. Your heartbeat was pulsing in your temple and you remembered being knocked out by a jackass in the lab. 

You could hear wheels against asphalt so you assumed you were in a trunk. For what felt like 30 minutes, you attempted to free yourself of the restraints. Suddenly the car stopped and you heard doors open and close. Quickly you went limp and kept your eyes shut, careful not to breathe too heavily. The trunk opened, filling it with cool air. Voices spoke hushed in fluent German.

"Sollen wir sie einfach hier lassen?" You had picked up some German while living in the lab. As they discussed what to do with you, you listened intently, not moving a muscle. 

"Ja. Wirf sie in den graben," Drop her in the ditch? If you weren't keeping up a façade of being knocked out, you'd beat the shit out of the prick. Since you're just such a great actress, you remain a log in the trunk. 

Arms grasped your legs. "Schnell!" The other figure held onto your shoulders and after a few paces, you braced yourself for a hard landing. "Hier," the figure at your feet directed.

Suddenly, your stomach was in your throat. The impact knocked the wind out of you and you choked on your breath. If that asshole thought that was a ditch, he must’ve been blind.

After you heard the car drive off, you looked up at your new surroundings. You were in a trench about five feet deep, definitely not a ditch. The sky was pitch black and you assumed you were still in Bucharest, the city you resided for the past year and a half. 

When you attempted to sit up, your eyes became fuzzy. You hit your head hard on that landing. Your eyes began to droop and as much as you tried to fight it, sleep took over. 

• • •

When you were shaken awake, you were barely there. A muffled voice was urging you to consciousness. "Hey, stay with me."

Your eyes cleared of fog for a few moments, letting you catch a glimpse of the voice. A man with shoulder length hair caught your gaze with his cold green one. 

As you became aware of the fact that you were tied up with a large man standing above you, you went into flight mode, though fatigue set in as soon as you started flailing.

"Hey, calm down. It's fine, you're fine. Can you tell me your name?" He just stared at you coldly waiting for an answer. You looked at him hesitantly.

"Y/N," you choked. He looked at you with the same look he'd given you this whole time. He looked as if he weren't actually-present? His eyes were stern, but lost. They looked as if there was a glaze over them, putting him in a trance that kept him from completely seeing.

He also gave you the impression of not actually caring to help you or not.

"I can help myself, if you could just untie me," you said. You began to sit up again, but your body was not having it and gave out beneath you. Stars took over your vision. You hated feeling so out of control like this.

"Well I already took time to make sure you weren't dead, and you're not convincing me that you're capable of getting yourself back to where you should be, so you're coming with me." You glared at his honesty and began to protest, but he groaned, "Shut up, you should be grateful that I'm here." He cut your restraints and helped you up to stand and bent down in a piggyback-ready position. You raised an eyebrow. 

"Come on. I don't want to be here all day," he demanded.

You jumped on and wrapped your arms around his neck, laying your head on his shoulder. Though you usually would find it uncomfortable to lay on a strangers back, your pounding head made an exception. You began pondering where you were going but drifted off to sleep to the rocking of his steps.

• • •

The sun woke you the next morning. Your head pulsed with a migraine and your body ached from the fall. You found yourself wrapped in a plush duvet in what seemed to be a run down motel room. You saw the man in the kitchenette organizing his pack on the countertop. You gazed over his body, noticing his build. He didn’t look like your average hobo walking on the side of the road. He was huge and muscular. You had to admit he was a handsome guy. He was wearing a tight t-shirt, different from the coat and gloves he was wearing the night before. As he left the kitchenette, light reflected off of his direction into your eyes. At that moment you saw the metal appendage in place of his left arm. He used it as a full functioning arm, which you’ve never seen before. He noticed your staring and blandly stated, “I lost it during battle. Not a big deal.” 

He carried a glass of water and pain medication over to you. You thanked him and took the medicine.

“So where’d you come from? And let’s keep this honest. There’s no reason in wasting our time right now,” he stated, plopping down in a chair next to your bed. In it were blankets and a pillow. You guessed he slept there to check on you the night before.

How would you tell him? Your situation wouldn’t sound like a likely story.

The only con to telling him the truth was that he’d think you’re crazy, but what’s new.

“A year and a half ago, I was taken from the orphanage I was in in Belgium by scientists posing as a family who wanted to adopt me. Since the foster system is shit, they got away with it,” you snarked. He smirked at your language choice. “They flew me to Bucharest, told me I’d just be used for some minor tests, that I was contributing to medical breakthroughs, blah, blah.

“They were horrible to us. The testing was painful, and a lot of us didn’t make it. When the government caught on that they were testing on minors, I was one of the last few there and they just decided to abandon us where they could. That branch of Hydra hadn’t prepared-“ You were cut of by him standing up, eyes wide.  
“Did you just say Hydra?” he shouted. He was furious.

“I’m guessing you’ve heard of them,” you smirked, amused by his sudden anger.

“Yeah, just a bit,” he snarked back. He paced around a bit, deep in thought. His association with Hydra must explain his weird stand-off attitude, you thought, because let’s be real, no one with a history with Hydra is normal. “How old are you?”

“17 in a month.” He nodded, still in his head. After he seemed to calm down, you decided it was probably fair that you knew his name too. “So what’s your name?”

“Bucky is my nickname. Now how I know that, I don’t know.” You barely caught that last part that he mumbled. “It’s short for Buchanan. James Buchanan Barnes.”

You’d heard the name before. It was talked about in the labs often. There were always words of the Winter Soldier, James Barnes. He was supposed to be one of Hydra’s weapons. “You were quite the topic of conversation there, soldier,” you chuckled. He looked back at you squinty eyed, not amused.

“So now that we know you’re probably wanted by Hydra to some extent, and I definitely am, I can’t let you go out alone with information on my whereabouts. So until I find something to do with you, you’ll have to stay with me. We’ll be on the move a lot so tomorrow when you feel better, we’ll head out to get you supplies.”

He turned to walk away, "You should get some rest. Do you need anything?" You shook your head. He turned and walked back to the kitchen.

You watched him for a while, wondering if this was the best decision you could've made. You're with a fugitive, though he can't be too cold-blooded if he felt the need to take care of you. You decided to stick around for a while, since you don't have anywhere else to go.

Bucky locked eyes with you for just a moment, before quickly turning around. You swore you could catch a little bit of heat in his cheeks as he moved from your gaze. You rolled over in the bed, ignoring the sudden tension, and tried your best to fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

As much as you wanted to stay in bed all day the next morning, your need to use the bathroom was killing you. You sat up, not seeing Bucky anywhere. He probably went out to get supplies without you. Maybe he left you all together realizing he couldn’t really benefit from a 16 year old girl. You reluctantly slipped out of the sheets and walked past the kitchen to the bathroom. His stuff still seemed to be where he left it last night.

“Morning,” You jumped so hard, you almost peed yourself right then and there. You turned around to see a groggy looking Bucky leaning against the kitchen entrance with a cup of coffee. You stared at him with wide eyes, trying to catch your breath. He chuckled at your surprise as he walked over to the coffee pot to pour himself another cup.

“Did I scare you? You know, you talk in your sleep. ‘I’d like another pumpkin muffin doll face’,” he said in a mocking tone. Are pumpkin muffins your favorite food then?” You stared at him, 1. embarrassed that he heard you talking in your sleep, and 2. surprised by how much he was speaking. He didn't seem like he was much of a conversationalist.

“Yeah I like them. Apparently enough to talk about them in my sleep,” you mumbled as you made your way back to the bathroom. You walked in and on the sink were a toothbrush, toothpaste, and a stick of deodorant. Not a lot to keep in your bathroom. Obviously, he wasn’t much into the whole “settling down” lifestyle. 

You made your way back to the kitchen and sat yourself at the island. He offered you a cup of coffee and you took it gratefully. It was the first you’d had in a very long time. You were more of a tea kind of girl, but you drank it all the same.

Bucky leaned over the counter, “So the plan is, today we go get you some stuff, then we’ll come back here, sleep until 5 tomorrow morning, then hop on the train to Debrecen, Hungary. Not sure how long we’ll stay there. My plan is to get to and hang around Germany for a while. I have a place there where we’ll be off the map.” You gulped up your last bit of coffee and nodded your head, trying to keep your cool. You’d never been anywhere but the U.S., where you were born, the Belgian orphanage, where you barely got to leave, and the lab in Bucharest. It sounds like a lot places, but when you’re stuck in a single building throughout your whole stay, you don’t get a lot of time to pick up the culture of the country. You were finally getting to travel, like you’d always wanted, even it wasn’t under the best conditions.

“We’ll head out in about 10 minutes,” he said as he put the mugs in the sink. “Since you don’t have anything else to wear out, wear this.” He walked over to the dresser and tossed you one of his gray t-shirts. You looked at it sizing it up to your not-so-large-and-muscular body. It would be huge, but you could just tuck it into your dirty jeans. You walked into the bathroom to dress and make yourself look a bit more presentable. You shut the door behind you and stripped yourself of the prison garb they made you wear in the lab. You slid Bucky’s shirt on. It was soft, and not as big as you thought, but it was still very lose. You twisted the fabric at the side and tucked it in, making it look more form fitting. Your [h/c] hair was matted and greasy; not surprising considering you were left in a dirt floored trench. You tied your hair back with the hair tie on your wrist and decided you didn’t look too abnormal going out in public.

When you left the bathroom, Bucky had put a baseball cap on and had his pack on his back. His gloves were back on his hands and he wore a tight fitted crew neck. He disguised himself well, considering he had a metal arm to hide. You two left the apartment, locking the door behind you.

• • •

The streets of Bucharest were beautiful. You’d never seen such beautiful architecture in your life. The city vibe appealed to you, and it seemed you’d be in that environment a lot now that you were traveling with Bucky.

You entered an average looking corner store to pick up the basics. You got yourself a small black backpack, similar to Bucky’s. You grabbed hygienic supplies, such as a toothbrush and hairbrush, a few shirts, a new pair of jeans, underwear, and sweats for sleeping in. You passed the feminine product aisle, realizing you’d probably need some of those at some point. You glanced over at Bucky, who was looking through the different books available, waiting for you to finish. You sped over to grab a box of tampons and hid them in the bottom of your basket. The thought of Bucky seeing your needed items filled you with embarrassment, which you knew was stupid. It’s just that it’s never been just you and a guy, but you knew enough to know that men weren’t the most comfortable with the subject of periods.

You approached him drawing his attention from the books. “Got everything?” he asked, looking at your basket.

“Yeah. I don’t really have any money though. I’ll make it up to you at some point,” you promised. You didn’t know how he would have any money. He’s like 100 years old. You’re sure a savings account wouldn’t hold money for that long.

“It’s fine I got it. How could I expect you to have any money?” You followed him to the checkout and emptied your items onto the conveyor belt. You walked to the end to help bag the items.

Bucky followed, his eyes catching a glimpse of the black and pink box. “What is this?” he asked, moving the shirt that attempted to cover the box. He read the label and looked up at you speechless. “Oh. Oh...never mind,” He mumbled sheepishly. He glanced at you with an apologetic smile, then looked away to the cashier to pay. You turned towards the door wide eyed, mentally face palming, embarrassed out of your mind. You are the queen of awkward moments. You grabbed your bags and retreated towards he door, Bucky following closely behind.

Seeming to ignore the awkward exchange that just happened between you, he directed, “The last place we have to stop by is the farmer’s market to grab something to eat tonight.” He led you down the block to a busy street full of colorful stands with every kind of produce you could think of. He walked through the crowd with his head low. You noticed he did that a lot, though you weren’t surprised. You entered a stall with lettuce and tomatoes, which Bucky made sure to pick up. You moved on to a fruit stall, where Bucky paid special attention to the plum section.

“Is your favorite food plums?” you chuckled.

“No they just have some good health benefits,” he informed with a slight grin.

He picked up a few more things for dinner then walked towards a cute looking bakery. “I need to pick up some bread. Can you wait out here with our bags?” he asked, handing you the bags he held. You stood outside the front window and observed the busy atmosphere of the street. 

You noticed a middle aged man suspiciously glancing around, walking straight towards the bakery. You tensed up, realizing he was approaching you. He made his way over, leaning against the window right next to you, head turned in your direction. You tried your best to avoid him, looking away from him, but then he started speaking to you.

“Hey pretty thing,” he said with a thick Romanian accent, “what are you doing out here all alone?” This is the situation you hated most. You had not had great experiences with strange men in the past. You’re surprised you’re comfortable being around Bucky. You decided to just ignore him, and hopefully he’d get the hint you weren’t interested.

“You’re going to ignore me?” He turned now fully facing you. “Now that’s not very polite. Why don’t you just walk with me for a while and we can get to know each other a little bit?” Thats when he grabbed your wrist and you snapped.

“GET OFF OF ME ASSHOLE!” you screamed. You tried ripping from his hold but he just dragged you farther down the side walk. He put a hand around your mouth, muffling your screams. You tried your best to resist, but he successfully pulled you off into a quiet alley where he pinned you against the brick siding of the bakery.

“You like attention, don’t you girlie? I’ll give you a lot of that,” He sneered. He was two inches away from your face and tears streamed down your cheeks. You breathed heavily, avoiding eye contact while trying to jerk away from his grasp.

Bucky had just left the bakery. “You ready to go? Look what I found in there-” That’s when he discovered you were not where he left you moments before. His eyes searched eagerly around the street looking for you. “Y/N? Y/N!” 

Just around the corner, the disgusting man stroked your cheek with his fingers, leaning in towards your lips. Right then, you gave a bloodcurdling scream, “BUCKY!”

Bucky quickly reacted to your call. He sprinted towards your voice, desperately searching for you. How could he have let this happen to you? The one responsibility he’d had in so long and he just let you go so carelessly. He finally found you, down an abandoned alley. He was overcome with pain, seeing that man holding you down. You craned your neck to see him, then began sobbing hysterically, the tears flowing. His eyes were full of hurt looking into yours. Then they flicked toward the man. His glare went dark and he seemed to double in size, looking as if he were about to kill him then and there.

“She’s just a kid, let her go.” he said, eyes closed tensely, trying so hard to hold back his anger. Your captor found his words amusing and tightened his grip on your arms.

“And why should I? This pretty one just wanted to play a bit. She’ll be fine with me,” he smirked. His grip moved to the base of your neck, testing Bucky. As soon as he saw this, he stepped towards you, causing the man to tighten his hands around your neck, threatening to end your life. You gasped for air, causing you to go into a complete panic.

You stared at Bucky, trying to hold back stifled sobs. He put his hand out towards the man, “Wait, don’t," he begged. His eyes met yours. His expression was full of pain and dread. He gave you an almost apologetic look before lunging towards the attacker. He tore him off of you, throwing him into the gravel below your feet. You fell, pushing yourself away from the scene unfolding before you. Bucky punched him in the nose ruthlessly, making the most grotesque noise you had ever heard. He would not-could not stop hitting the man. You’d never seen anything like it, someone so merciless. He was stuck in a trance, with once objective: to kill. Blood gushed from the man’s nose and mouth. Just when you thought Bucky was done, he took of the glove off of his metal hand, wrapped his fingers around the beaten man’s neck and lifted him off the ground to eye level. 

He growled, “You touch her again, I’ll make sure you have a one way ticket to hell.” With that, he threw the man into the brick wall with so much force, a crater was made where the man slammed against it.

Bucky ran to you, dropping to where you laid, crying and shaking. He scooped you up in his arms, covering you from any harm and rocking your trembling body, repeating, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll never let anything happen to you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a repost since something in the text glitched. I've been excited to post this chapter and I hope you enjoy it!


	3. Chapter 3

Something about caring for a younger person changed Bucky. Having someone relying on him felt good. He could ignore his blurry past haunting him everywhere he went and just focus on you. But he failed. He left you and you got hurt, and the only one to blame is him. He could never forgive himself for that.

You were in a ball in his arms, completely paralyzed. Darkness. So much darkness. Your body just took on the weight of a thousand souls. Wanda was right. You were so naive to think maybe it would flick out on you. You just didn’t expect it to hurt so much. Wanda’s journey with her abilities was so much more agonizing than yours had been. During treatment, she wasn’t given any psychological treatment at all. She was the control, you were the experiment. She had to figure everything out herself, you got a psychologist to talk you through everything you experienced, or a lack thereof. But now that it’s here, you really didn’t know how to handle it. Wanda explained it well: it felt like your level of empathy was on steroids.

The people Wanda was dealt in the beginning though was nothing compared to Bucky. She probably only took on the emotions of a few minuscule lab technicians who had gone through little to no hardships in their lives. What Bucky held within was something unmeasurable beyond belief, and you just experienced it all within a few seconds. All of his fears, confused thoughts, regrets; you knew it all, yet understood nothing. You could not comprehend what was just transferred from his head to yours, you just knew it petrified you. 

When you could finally manage to pick up your blotchy face, you peered up at him. His eyes were clenched shut, trying to take back everything that he’d just done.

When you looked at him, all you felt was sympathy. Nothing you could say could make it better, make him better. “I'm sorry,” is all you could utter. His tired eyes glowed green with tears as they met yours.

“Don’t apologize, Y/N. Please don’t apologize for that,” he choked. “He hurt you because I wasn’t there. Please don’t blame yourself.” You didn’t know how to tell him that the reason you were sorry wasn’t because of the fight, but because of the pain he was enduring everyday. So instead of explaining, you wrapped him in a hug, staining the neck of his shirt with tears. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around your middle, afraid of hurting you even more. That’s when it came in a wave. When you touched him, you felt your energy relieving him of some of the turmoil going on in his head. You realized he needed you. This was your purpose, to help him. You were what he had started using to forget some of that past he had bottled up. You tightened your embrace, sending him more reassurance.

“Let’s go home,” he whispered in your ear. You nodded, looking into his eyes one last time to assure him you were okay. You both stood up and grabbed your bags, both the ones in the alley and outside of the bakery, and quickly made your way back to the motel.

• • •

You entered the room, your body aching from earlier. You set your bags on the counter and took your toiletries out. You grabbed them along with a t-shirt and sweats and headed towards the bathroom. “Hey I’m going to take a shower before we eat, okay?” you called to Bucky.

“Okay,” he responded, sounding preoccupied. 

You cracked the door behind you, laying out all of your new goodies. You turned on the hot water, letting the bathroom fill with steam before jumping in. The hot water felt like drops of gold pinging off your skin. For the past year you were only allowed 10 minutes lukewarm showers, without the frilly soaps you were using now. You took the time to properly smell each scent and feel the lather between your fingers. You probably spent a half an hour bathing that night, and you loved every therapeutic minute of it.

When you finally shut the water off, you reached out to grab a towel you assumed was clean and wrapped yourself in it. You then combed through your wet hair and shook it out in the towel. When you were finished, you reached for the doorknob, but stopped when you noticed Bucky sitting in one of the island chairs staring at nothing. He looked mentally drained. You slowly pushed open the door, startling him from his thoughts.

“Oh, uh, dinner’s in there. I made BLT’s. Haven’t had them in a while,” he stammered. He began falling back into his thoughts as you made your way into the kitchen.

“Smells delicious!” you chirped, trying to keep up Bucky’s spirits. You both knew that the sudden chipper attitude was bullshit, but ignored it. You picked up your plate and handed him his as you sat next to him. You ate in silence, occasionally glancing over at him while he picked at his food. 

After a long silence, Bucky breathed, “You know, the only reason I left you to go into that bakery was to get you that fucking muffin. So stupid…” You looked over, confusion in your eyes. You followed his gaze to see a little pumpkin muffin, wrapped in plastic wrap, sitting on the counter in front of him. Your eyes flicked back to him. He remembered they were your favorite and went out of his way to get you one. No one had ever showed you an act of kindness like that and your eyes started to well up with tears.

“Thank you,” you sighed, enveloping his moping body in a quick hug.

“It was stupid. It caused you to get hurt-“

“Bucky,” you interrupted, “it was a nice gesture and honestly, I haven’t experienced very many of those. And what happened in that alley could’ve happened to anyone at anytime and all that matters is you were there to stop him. I’m not hurt, I’m fine.” He glanced over at you, coming to his senses that you were right. All you wanted was for him to stop dwelling on what had happened.

You reached over and grabbed the muffin, unwrapping it. You split it in two and held out half. “Now can we please move on from this?” He stared at you for a moment, then nodded and grabbed his half and took a bite.

“Damn, this is a good muffin.”

You bit from your half and replied, “I know, right?” You giggled. A faint smile developed on his face and you two began a very serious, studious, in depth conversation about the things you would take on a desert island, one of your things being more of these muffins.

The rest of the night was filled with a surprising amount of conversation. You discussed favorite movies, creating a long list you were going to watch with him one day because he was very, very behind. Bucky explained what life was like back in the early 1900’s. You listened intently, amazed by the things he told you. You talked about the gap of decades that he had missed, filling him in on iconic singers and fads, even if he didn’t understand most of the terminology you used. You stayed away from the heavier stuff like war, not knowing what he did and didn’t know already.

“You know, you are the only person I’ve had a real conversation with since I woke up?” He looked at you with a disheartening look. It must’ve been so hard. He might as well have skipped through to a different dimension when he was frozen. When he woke up from that, there was no one there to explain what had happened to him in the time hop. He was completely alone.

“You may be 16, but you’re really mature for your age, Y/N.” He gave you a slight grin and started towards his bed. “We should probably get some rest before the long ride tomorrow.”

You retired to your bed and got yourself comfortable. You leaned towards the lamp in between your beds before saying, “Goodnight, Bucky.”

“Goodnight, doll.”

You looked at him with confusion. “Doll?”

“You called whoever you wanted that muffin from in your dream ‘doll face’. ‘Doll’ just seems like it suites you. Rolls off the tongue,” he said, nonchalantly.

You chuckled, “Whatever you say Buck.” You then shut off the light and rolled over. The silence when you first laid down was incredibly awkward for you. You stared at the wall until you heard his breathing get heavier and you knew he was asleep. You then and finally let yourself doze off.

You had been asleep for what you assumed was about an hour when you were awoken by grumbling. You looked over at Bucky, thinking it was probably him talking in his sleep. He was, but his meaningless babbles were those of distress. His body was shaking in the sheets. He was on his side facing you, strands of hair falling over his sunken expression. The only words he murmured that you could make out were “no” and “stop”. You were about to get up and wake him from his nightmare, but he suddenly stopped and returned to a peaceful sleep. You slowly turned around in your bed, careful not to wake him. Your mind quickly zoned back into your dreams and you fell asleep.

• • •

The next morning you and Bucky got right to packing your things and heading to the train station. You left the motel, which you now realized was completely abandoned considering Bucky didn’t have to checkout or do anything of the sort, and took a cab straight to the Bucharest North railway station.

The station was big with a beautiful clock tower connected to it. There weren’t many people there this early. When you entered the building, Bucky explained that the security precautions were not very strict, so he didn’t need to worry about metal detectors here. When he said this, you couldn’t help yourself from laughing, which he was unimpressed by. “Laugh all you want, but I’d say this arm makes me have double the sexy,” he gloated, raising the gloved arm into a flex. This made you laugh even harder. Most of the time, Bucky was serious, but you were able to pull him out of his shell, and this was one of those moments.

“Whatever you say Barnes. Let’s go before we miss our train!” On the way to your platform, you stopped at a booth that was advertising their company through free notepads and pens. You picked up one of each and planned on doodling or something to entertain yourself on the 13 hour train ride. Soon, you were stood at the platform boarding your train.

The interior of the train was filled with fancy seating and tables. It smelled of cleaning supplies and chlorine, the scents you hadn't smelled in a while. Strangely you adored that scent, as it had reminded you of Disney World, which you visited with your parents when you were a toddler. “This is so nice,” you expressed.

Bucky looked at you, surprised. “You’ve never been on a train before, either? You’re lucky I’m here, or you would’ve wound up one of those plain, sheltered kids.” You playfully rolled your eyes and led the way to empty seats at the back of the train. You took a seat across the table from him and placed your bag next to you. You decided to do something you’d always wanted to do: record all of the places you travel to in a journal. You expected to get started with this when you were an adult and free of custody, but you can start it earlier than you thought now that you’re with Bucky.

You opened the notepad to the first page, headed it with New Places, and added Bucharest, Romania to the top of the list. You wrote a few notes about the area’s people and architecture, obviously leaving out the sleazy man who attacked you. You then dated the page and put the booklet back in your bag. 

“What was that?” Bucky asked, nodding at your bag.

“Just some info about Bucharest I wanted to jot down. It’s so pretty here,” you replied. You observed as the train started pulling away from the station.

“Yeah, Romania may be one of my favorite places,” he agreed, watching you. Bucky could see that he was so much happier now that he was with you. You had this power over him (literally) that he didn’t understand. When he was on the run alone, he was stuck in a dark hole where all he was surrounded with were his regretful thoughts. As you’ve been with him, some light has begun to flicker in the black. He finally had someone to drag him out of the pit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was really hard to write, but I'm happy it's finished. Bucky gives me continuous feels. I hope you guys like it! ^_^


	4. Chapter 4

You folded the last shirt of Bucky’s before tucking it neatly into your bag. You threw the bag over your shoulder and held your breath as you opened the laundromat door. The frigid January air brushed against your exposed skin, prickling you with goosebumps. You had been in Debrecen for almost a month and had gotten used to the cold, but today was colder than any day you had experienced so far. A snow storm was blowing in, so you and Bucky were preparing to stay in your temporary arrangement for the next week or so.

You entered a small shop next to the laundromat that you had frequented for basic necessities. The hum of the fluorescent lights greeted you as you walked in. An older woman sat at the counter knitting while watching reruns of an old Hungarian Soap Opera. You walked to the back of the shop and found some blankets on a shelf. You picked up two and ran your fingers over the fabric. Even though it was faux fur, it was soft and plush. You headed back towards the front of the store, but stopped when some boxes of tea caught your eye. You decided to treat yourself to your favorite, English Breakfast, and picked up a box. Next to the tea happened to be an emergency battery powered kettle. You instantly became excited. Now you could actually boil vegetables instead of eating raw all the time. You practically skipped back up to the counter and set your things down. The woman punched some numbers into the cash register and said something in Hungarian, to which you handed her what random bills you had. She looked at you questioningly before dealing you your change. You gave her a polite smile and left the shop.

You ran against the wind, down the block, back to the motel you were residing in. Bucky wasn't in the room, meaning he was still out, so you hoped he got back safely. The wind had picked up speed and the snow was falling harder than ever. The room was as cold as it was outside, excluding the wind chill. When you arrived here a month ago, Bucky had found that they had shut the electricity off, so this winter you were going without heat. The water still worked though, so you couldn’t really complain.

You put a blanket on both his and your mattresses and went to the kitchen to fill your kettle and open the box of tea. The delectable scent of the mixture of black teas filled your nose, instantly bringing a smile to your face. The water boiled relevantly quickly and you poured some over a teabag in your mug. You let the tea brew for a couple minutes, then took a sip. Your cold body was filled with a calm, comforting warmth. You forgot how much you loved spiced tea. You thought that you could now use this to calm Bucky down after his nightmares woke him. His sleep talking that you first heard a month ago had morphed into sleep screams, then into full blown panic attacks. When he had these, he'd be covered in sweat, eyes shooting around the room, terrified. You just had to hold his shaking shoulders and remind him that he was with you and no one was hurting him. His eyes would catch yours and soften, and then you could see reality wash back into him. You’d then send him back to sleep and the event wouldn’t be talked about again. This happened night after night and the more it happened, the more distant he became. During the day, he’d be drowned by his thoughts. Although sometimes you could try to alter them and switch his attention to something else, you couldn’t completely spare him of his misery.

When Bucky opened the door, wind blew into the room along with a flurry of snow. “Hey, I got each of us a blanket. I also got really good tea, if you want some,” you offered. 

“Maybe later,” he replied. He put his bags on the counter and unloaded the food he bought. He noticed the steaming kettle next to him. “Where’d you find that?”

“At this lady’s shop. It’s great, we can actually make hot food now. I’m sick of salads.” He smirked at your disgust and assisted you in putting the groceries away. You picked up a box of animal crackers and looked at them questionably. “Animal crackers?” 

“Yeah, I tried to buy nonperishables—and Steve always liked them,” he mumbled.

“Who’s Steve?” You knew who Steve was. Well, sort of. He was the most important person in Bucky’s life. You knew this because Bucky woke up calling for him multiple times this past month. You could see in him that he was longing for Steve to be with him, and you thought maybe he was his brother since he seemed so attached to him. He stared at you, trying to choose his words.

“Well, there’s not a lot to tell. All I really know is he was my best friend back in Brooklyn. When Hydra had a hold of me, we met and I remembered his face. He’s the reason I got away. He brought me out of it.” Bucky was zoning in on the box of crackers. Without saying anything, you placed your hand on his shoulder. It’s come to a point where you two really don’t have to say anything at all. He talked, you listened.

You knew it helped him to speak his thoughts, to get it out of his head. You finally were able to wrap your mind around the fact that he was, for the lack of a better word, lost. He was completely and utterly lost. He woke up one day, with the only word in his vocabulary being kill, and slowly memories that seemed like they were from another person were leaking back into his mind. All he could do was piece everything back together to recover his entire memory. And if listening was all you could do to help him, that’s what you would do.

“He sounds like a great guy, Buck,” you said gently. He glanced over at you with small, appreciative grin.

• • •

Later that night, you were trying to read a book you had picked up a while back and Bucky was going through a dated magazine. What kept taking your concentration off of the pages in your book was the temperature of the room. Your breath was actually visible in front of you. You were huddled under your new blanket as well as your sheets and felt almost no difference. Bucky had to be struggling too—how could he not? The remaining liquid in your mug was actually crystalizing. Giving up, you closed the book and sat it on the ground next to you. “I’m going to bed,” you said, turning over. 

“Yeah, me too,” He sat up in his mattress and shut off the lantern that was lighting the room. You curled into a tight ball under your blankets and tried your best to keep your shaking under control. You created a dome under the sheets and breathed to try to fill it up with heat. It didn’t work. You laid limp for a what felt like years waiting for exhaustion to overcome your freezing body.

“I can hear your teeth chattering from over here,” Bucky grumbled. “Take one of my blankets.”

“I’m fine,” you said, the tremor in your voice not convincing him.

“Look, you get cold, you get sick. You get sick, I get sick. It’s a losing situation all around.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’ll be fine, I swear.” You readjusted yourself in your blankets. After a short silence, Bucky could be heard rustling out of his bedding. Suddenly you saw him standing above you.

“I don’t want to get sick. Scoot over.” You stared at him for a moment, seeing if he’d back down. He didn’t.

You scooted over slightly in your twin mattress and Bucky leaned down next to you, pulling the blankets over you both. He laid facing you and wrapped his right arm around your waist, pulling you in close. You were quickly filled with warmth. You snuggled into his chest waiting for your awkward trembling to subside. Bucky shifted to bring you closer and his left hand brushed against your exposed skin, causing you to jump at the icy touch.

“Shit, sorry.” You felt his chest against your face as he chuckled. He snuggled his face into your hair and strands of his own fell against your cheek. Your eyes felt heavy as the rhythm of his breaths comforted you.

Bucky whispered into your ear, “Night, doll.” You were too gone to respond. Both of you had the best sleep you’d ever had that night—and that would be Bucky’s first night without a nightmare.

• • •

You woke up before Bucky that next morning, enveloped in his hold. You buried yourself into his gray t-shirt, feeling the fabric against your face. Outside, the snow had packed up to the window and continued to fall. You glanced up at Bucky. He was still sleeping, mouth agape, with strands of his bangs resting against his sculpted cheekbones. You drew your fingers up to his temple. Closing your eyes, you searched for something, anything, but his mind was clear. You were filled with happiness knowing he had finally had a night free of torment. You cuddled back into him, unable to take the grin away from your face.

Bucky’s eyes fluttered open slightly. “What are you smiley about?” he asked, grinning quizzically.

You leaned away from him a bit to look up at him. “Nothin’,” you dismissed. “Why is it still so cold?” You tucked back into his chest. You had to be honest, although it was odd to be laying with an adult like this, it was comforting. Bucky felt warm, and not just because he was trying to keep you from freezing. It was silly, but he made you feel at home. You ignored the tug in your heart when his eyes caught yours and the excitement you felt when he talked of future plans that included you. You had to ignore these things or one day, when you finally parted ways, you would be heartbroken. Bucky was the first person you had ever trusted, and if you ever saw him as more than a friend, you’d be crushed in the end.

“Tea will probably warm me up.” You pulled away from him and swore a whimper left his lips. No, [Y/N], No. You took the thought out of your head and stood up. You moved into the kitchen and started the kettle. 

You reached for a mug. “Would you like some?” you called.

“Yeah. Can you make it sweet, though? Do we have sugar or something?”

“Yeah,” you replied, amused. You leaned against the counter and waited for the water to finish. When it did, you poured it over the two teabags and let it brew. You searched the cabinets for the sugar, finding it in the back of one, and added more than enough to Bucky’s mug. You walked the steaming mugs over to Bucky and sat down next to him on the mattress. He wrapped his hands around his mug and took a sip.

He gave you a nod of approval. “Not too bad.” You smiled, happy with yourself, and proceeded to drink yours.

“I’ll be back I’m going to brush my teeth before I drink it.” He stood up and walked towards the dresser. When he sat his mug down, it was too close to the edge and tipped over, falling to towards the floor. You and Bucky both drew attention to this. Halfway to the floor, it stopped, floating in the air. You were confounded, but then looked down at your hands. With a gasp, you let it drop to the floor. Your eyes rushed up to Bucky, who stared at you, flustered. He stayed focused on you with the same confused expression, while you tried to get words to come out of your mouth. His look of confusion soon turned into a look of outrage.

“What the hell was that? Who are you, no, what are you? Did S.H.I.E.L.D send you? Hydra? If you have superpowers, you have to be with one of them!” Bucky was pacing back and forth, stepping threateningly closer to you with every word. “Was your plan to get into my head, make me feel like I’m not alone. Like I actually had someone?" he scoffed. “Damn it, I’m so stupid! You don’t give a shit about me. You’re just one of their puppets.” His voice was encompassed with rage and traced with hurt.

“No! Please Bucky let me explain,” you pleaded to him, but he cut you off.

“Explain what? That you’re just here to get me killed or taken back to them? I told you everything, [Y/N]. I trusted you,” he said drily. You didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know what he’d believe. You were devastated just by the fact that he expressed all these feelings for you, only to feel betrayed by them. It wasn’t apparent to you that he felt anything towards you at all, and it was overwhelming to think that he was now taking it all back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, not a great ending, but I didn't want the chapter to be super long. I need more Bucky fluff in my life, so more of that will be coming soon! ^_^


	5. Chapter 5

Darkness was rushing in. All the light that had been brushed off was now being buried. Weeks of progress were being engulfed in regret and disappointment. You could see it all happening play by play in his eyes. If he would just let you get one fucking word in, you could stop it all. You could understand why he was reacting like this. It wasn’t everyday that your travel companion started making things levitate out of the blue. But you had built up so much trust with each other, and now he was talking to you like you were a criminal. 

You repeatedly tried to get his attention, but he just interrupted again and again. Tears began to cloud up your vision and your heart raced in your chest. Your bond with Bucky was withering away right in front of you. Even though you were the one sat on the mattress in tears, there was no hiding the equal amount of hurt Bucky felt as well.

“Bucky please just listen,” you pleaded. He stopped pacing across the room. He couldn’t even look you in the eye. “Why do you think I was in the lab with Hydra? I’m—different.”

Bucky let out a sigh that was followed by silence. After a moment, he whispered, “Then why didn’t you say anything? Why’d you hide it from me all this time, after everything I’ve told you? I thought you trusted me…” His voice quivered with hurt. You did trust him. He was the only person in the universe you trusted.

He sat down on his mattress, his face falling in his hands. You crawled over and sat yourself in between his legs. You took his hands, letting his face hang, and held them to your chest. Your heartbeat pulsed against his tense fingers.

“I didn’t know, Buck, or I would have. I thought the levitation stuff didn’t work on me.” You’re hands felt petite squeezing his. “I would never keep something from you like that. I care too much about you. You should know that,” you said lightly. But how could he know that? You’d kept any trace of caring for him hidden. Helping him from the inside was all you could do. Holding his hands at this moment was something you savored, but once again, you had to shovel your overbearing feelings down your throat, or you would risk ruining the bond you had with him.

He faced the floor, hiding from your eager gaze. “It’s just that I’ve been alone for so long, and I haven’t had one fucking person who cared, and I didn’t think I could, so I almost just ended it. I had no will to live before I found you, [Y/N]. But now I have you and that feeling is going away, but I don't know why and...and I’m just so confused,” His voice caught in his throat with every word, ripping at your heart. You pulled him into your collar, brushing your fingers through the locks on the nape of his neck.

“I know. But I’m here now, and we’ll get through it, like we always do. We’ll figure it all out.” You brought his face up to look him in the eye. The green glassiness in them shined against his red puffy eyelids. You brushed a tear away. “I promise.”

He took a breath to regain his composure and shook his head. “You know you’re the girl, I should be the one helping you during these situations,” He said, making you giggle. You felt his fingers lacing themselves between yours, as he brought your hand to his cheek. You tried to keep your face hidden so he didn’t see the heat that had risen in your cheeks.

“So what should I expect from all of this? You’re not going to make me fly into the ceiling while I’m sleeping, right?”

You laughed, relieved that the tension had subsided. “No, at least, I don’t think so. The stuff they put in me is said to give me a sixth sense. I can like, feel and control energy I think,” you informed with uncertainty. “I can feel what people are feeling, and now, apparently, levitate things. My friend, Wanda, could do the same thing, so it isn’t a huge surprise to me.”

“So what’s my energy right now?” he asked. Curiosity lit up his face.

“I don’t like doing it without permission,” you lied.

He caught your eye, “Well I’m giving you permission.”

After a moment you caved. "You're lucky I like you," you breathed, receiving an amused chuckle.

You hesitantly brought your finger up to his temple. A visual of light, care and…love illuminated in front of you. You grew warm with these feelings filling you, and looked to make sure you were seeing the right person. You tried to deny that that love was for you, but you couldn’t. There was no one else for him to feel it towards. You slowly lowered your finger away from his face.

“So, what’d you see?” he asked, thrilled by your actions. You couldn’t keep yourself from smiling, and soon you were anxiously giggling like an idiot. Bucky self-consciously ran his fingers through his hair with a nervous laugh. “What? What’d you see?” 

“Nothing,” you replied. Bucky looked at you squinty eyed. Suddenly, you were flipped you onto your back with Bucky hovering over you. You stared at him with wide eyes and a harsh blush brushed across your cheeks. Before you could question anything, a sensation washed over your entire body. Bucky had begun tickling you relentlessly. You tried to get away, but you were laughing too hysterically.

“Tell me what you saw!” He tickled your wriggling, screeching body faster. “I don’t know if you’ve forgotten, but I’m stubborn, darling.”

“Bucky! I’m going to hurl!” He pinned you against the mattress with a smirk. His green eyes glimmered down at yours. “You really want to test me, Barnes?”

“I don’t know, [Y/L/N], I don’t think you can take me,” he boasted. You struggled against his grip for a few seconds before giving up and groaning in surrender. “That’s what I thought.”

Bucky plopped down next to you on the mattress. “One more week.”

“One more week until what?” you questioned, propping yourself on your elbow to face him.

“Your birthday, duh.” The corners of his mouth turned into slight smile. “I say, if this snow stops, we should start our trip to Berlin. We could spend your birthday there.” 

“Oh I totally forgot about that. We really don’t have to pack up and move just for my birthday. It’s not that big of a deal.” You hadn’t celebrated your birthday since you were little, so you didn’t see why you needed to now.

Bucky rolled his eyes, “Whatever. I think we both need something to celebrate, and what better way to do it than to add places to that book of yours?” He was right. You did want to go to as many places as you could, so you agreed.

You grinned, “Okay, but only because you want to.”

He gave you a cheesy grin and then jumped up. “Great. I’m going to go brush my teeth now.” As he jogged to the bathroom, he left you with a cheeky wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a slight change of plans with the route of which this story is going, explaining why there isn't as much plot content in this one (I got some of the Civil War locations wrong when planning the story out, but it's okay, I've got a new plan!) I hope you guys enjoyed it anyway! Things are starting to get rolling ;)
> 
> If you'd like, you can add me on Instagram for updates and fun stuff! @buckythesavage
> 
> Thanks! ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this wasn't very long. I have plans for this story and I didn't want the first chapter to be too dense. The next chapter will be out soon! Also thank you to Abraxas for helping me with my lack of knowledge of the German language.


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